


In The Fade

by Aneth_Stripes



Series: Dragon Age - Fractured Timelines [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29255598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aneth_Stripes/pseuds/Aneth_Stripes
Summary: Nothing could separate the two. The question was...how were they going to get out? How did Fenris end up in the Fade in the first damned place?!-Shut up, this is my canon, leave me alone and enjoy!
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke, Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Fenris/Female Hawke
Series: Dragon Age - Fractured Timelines [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917967
Kudos: 3





	In The Fade

Her fingers detached from his back, watching his body be dragged away by Alistair and the Inquisitor. She had no time to sink in the terror and shock on his face and the bellow that surged from his mouth seconds later. 

He didn’t want this. She didn’t want this. But no one was going to make the decision necessary, least of all her brother. She made her decision. In knowing this, in watching the tear in the Fade close and leave her alone, she gripped her sword, glaring at the terrifying creature that hovered over them. 

“Fenris is going to kill me.” 

Hawke charged and bellowed, tearing into her oversized enemy with her sword. It screeched and backed up, the pupilless eyes twitching spastically before the creature screeched and charged for her. 

“Shit, shit, _fuck_!” Hawke wasn’t the type to curse so much, but clearly, it was time for her to change habits! She ran, charged fast, creating a small distance between her and the beast as the ground violently shook below her. Hawke knew the best and only chance she had was to backtrack!

The warrior yelped as she dipped back, slashing at the leg that would have stabbed her if she hadn’t budged. A sickly smell oozed from it as she tore into its tendons deep, wincing as the creature screeched loud enough to make her falter. She ducked again when another leg attempted to impale her, rolling forward as she continued to run. 

The muscles in her body protested but she ignored it, using the same tactic she once used to defeat the former Arishok; run, run like a little bitch!

Hawke tumbled into the water, ducking into the cave just as the demon crashed into the wall, screeching even louder. She gasped in pain, covering her ears as she fell into the water, sure as the Maker Himself that she’d begun bleeding from her sockets. She needed to get away, run, _something_!

Her head was pounding and it felt like the walls were closing in- either that or she was suffocating from the disgusting water in her system. The creature continued to slam against the rock, legs crushing and crumbling her temporary protection around her. Hawke put her sword away, concluding that she needed to run. 

Yes, run! Her legs dragged and protested as she wadded through the water, barely putting distance between them as she backtracked and stumbled. The ringing of the monster’s roar hurt her ears something fiercely, and in a fit of borderline insanity, she paused for a few precious seconds to tear off the red scarf around her neck. She tore it in half and stuffed her ears as much as she could without causing further damage, continuing to wade through the water. 

It was persistent, flinging chunks of rock and spreading dust as it struggled to reach its newest potential victim. Still, it couldn’t remove enough of the rubble which protected her. Her feet touched the dry surface but she didn’t falter, holding onto her side as she ran before stumbling and collapsing behind a large pillar. 

The monster screamed, but it no longer pierced her ears as it did before, even after she removed the red scarf. Her ears stung like a bitch; her throat cracked, lungs bruised and begging for air. Her body was exhausted, shriveling until she was curled up as if she were a babe. 

Rocks were a pleasantry compared to the belly of the beast she could’ve been in by that point. Everything was...quiet. Or perhaps it was only that way because of the damage to her ears. Could they be recovered? Did it matter? 

Hawke was as good as dead. She knew this the moment she decided to throw herself at the beast. 

All she wanted to do now was sleep...Maker was she tired. Everything hurt and she could feel her eyelids wavering. Was she soon to pass out? Would she be killed in her sleep? She prayed for that much. Better to have died dreaming of her beloved than die fighting. 

Fenris would be disappointed in her. He would miss her.

-

Gentle whispers barely reached his ears. His body felt consistently heavy, though this didn’t concern him. All of his nightmares seemed real now, as real as the one he was trapped in. Despite his mind screaming at him that it was just a dream, the dream itself wasn’t anything that told fibs or tales. 

Just as he blinked and breathed, Hawke was gone. There was no lie to be uncovered, no need to decode the lucid dreams that haunted Fenris every night. 

She slipped through his fingers like silk, there in his arms just as quick, and gone even faster. The elf tried to convince her to stay with him, not to take on the red lyrium situation. _“Run away with me.”_

The hope that glimmered in her eyes was but a fragment of the last time he’d seen her. 

_“I have to see this through.”_

He should have stopped her. Maker, why didn’t he stop her? 

The letter that came days later crushed him. The moment he saw Varric’s name was when he knew. He just...knew. He’d spent the longest time staring at it, afraid to touch the letter in fear of what it might entail. 

Fenris feared...but he wasn’t stupid. He hadn’t cried until much later, long after he’d downed enough wine to drown himself. The kind of life they lived guaranteed a fast or slow death, there was no telling which. 

But for Hawke to be gone so soon...he couldn’t handle it. 

The elf found himself in bed, restless till the morning and searching for her in the back of his mind as the sun rose. He never found her, not truly. Hawke was always a wisp, always so close only to reduce to ashes when he got close enough. Varric nor Isabela nor Aveline could remove him from the bed. Fenris couldn’t face Aidan; how he looked so much like his twin sister. 

His eyes were bloodshot from crying so much but he couldn’t control it. The one person who pulled him from destruction, self or no, was gone. A part of him could never let go, would _never_ let go. 

Perhaps that was why he’d dreamed about her for nights. It had been almost two weeks since, but there would be no recovering from it, he knew this. 

Hawke didn’t appear this time, however, nor was he trapped in a green misty tower. Instead, he stood at the edge of a sea; vast, filthy, _green_. Fenris turned, blinking in confusion as he considered his options. He was hallucinating again, nay, it was a lucid dream, nothing more. Even as he thought this, his eyes felt dry, his throat raw; his body felt numb as if he’d just awakened. 

What was going on? 

Something shifted behind him and he twisted his body, green eyes narrowing as he took in the sight ahead of him. The elf took a step forward as the world around him rippled and contorted, pausing when the figure moved. 

It shifted before standing up, silver eyes turning to stare at him wearily. Fenris knew it, accepted this as another wretched nightmare of his failure. 

“Hawke.” 

His voice was raspy, raw with wilted emotion. She looked far worse, more half-dead than he’d ever seen her. Another fucking punishment. Fenris waited for something to come swoop down and kill her as a demon normally had, but...nothing. 

“F-Fenris...another illusion?” Roni shakily raised her hand, rubbing the water off her dry lips. 

“Whatever you’re going to do, just get it over with,” he spat, almost choking on his words. To see her this exhausted, feathers plucked and left for rot…

Still, she didn’t explode, didn’t melt, and didn’t blame him. Hawke continued to watch him with a saddened gaze as if expecting something from him. When he didn’t speak again, she sighed softly. “Perhaps i-if I touch him, he’ll go away...just…” She took a shaky step forward, slowly reaching her battle-worn arm. 

Fenris flinched, closing his eyes as he waited to stir from his tortured slumber. Any minute he’d wake, throw the bottle, and cry more to drown his sorrows. Any minute. 

“Why...why aren’t you. I-I don’t understand.” 

He hadn’t awakened. Fenris opened his eyes and shuddered as he felt the mock of her touch against his cheek. No... _no_ it wasn’t real. She wasn’t real, she was dead, _dead, gone, gone forever!_

“Wake up,” he began to chant, over and over, his body threatening to rock on his heels. This nightmare was too much for him to bear, the worst kind of torture. “This is my fault. I let you go, I didn’t follow, I...please, just let me rest. Please _forgive me_ , Hawke.” 

Fenris couldn’t help the tremors that overcame his body. 

“This isn’t your fault,” she croaked, her thumb rubbing against his cheek. “Please, I...I cannot do this. Maker, if you are to take me then…” 

He flinched as she started to sob. _No, Maker stop it!_ “Don’t,” he croaked, opening his eyes as his hands shot up, immediately cupping her cheeks. “ _Don’t_ , Hawke, don’t cry. I’m here.” Tears threatened to slip past his eyes as he was overcome with shock. 

Roni felt so real. So tired and tender and _real_. She sobbed, legs beginning to quake as she stepped forward. “Fenris...it can’t be. I’m being t-tricked, you’re nothing but a demon, y-you…” Hawke caved, allowing Fenris to hold her up as she collapsed in his arms. 

His arms wrapped around hers as they sunk, his breath unsteady, fast, as he held his lover close to him. He could feel her heartbeats, the tremble of her body as she cried. There was nothing real about this...it couldn’t have been. It wasn’t. 

There was no way Hawke could still be alive. 

“Please don’t leave me,” she whimpered, clutching onto him with what strength he had. 

“Never,” he muttered, placing his hand on the back of her head. She was so warm. “If...if this is a dream, then I will be here until I wake. If this is the only way I can have you…” 

“I’m not a dream.” Her tremors increased. “Please, demon, j-just kill me.” 

He huffed out a laugh. “If I’m a demon then we’re both in trouble.” he continued to stroke the back of her head, amused in a sad sort of way. “I...expected you to be gone by now. Am I...dead?” 

“That would make me d-dead,” she quivered, giggling through her broken sobs. 

Neither of them moved as Fenris held her firmly, struggling to keep it together. This was a nightmare, worst than anything he’d ever experienced prior. To feel her in his arms again, so real, so warm; it was too much. 

All he had to do was wait to wake up at this point. And yet...time slowed. He continued to hold her as the seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned into slow, agonizing hours. How long had be sat there, holding her frame as Hawke slowly fell asleep against his form? Her cries eventually faded into gentle breaths, eyes fluttering closed. 

Perhaps this was all he would ever have with her. The gentle sounds of her breathing, the pressure of her body against his. If this was the last time he ever felt her, then he would stay there with Hawke. 

Forever. For as long as she’d have him. 

“I love you,” he whispered, raking his fingers through her white strands, resting against the firm rock behind them. “I love you.” He’d never let her go. Even as his vision faded, even as he knew he’d be pulled away from her once more, Fenris would hold her, never forget.

Then...then he would join her. As it was always meant to be. 

_“Wait for me.”_

-

Three knocks in and Hawke could hear his husband sigh in exasperation. “If he wanted us in, he would’ve answered by now,” Anders muttered in annoyance, scowling at the idea of seeing that lyrium covered elf again. 

Aidan heaved a sigh, not facing him as he knocked again. “Anders...you don’t have to like him. You don’t even have to walk in. I...I just…”

Anders winced, taking a deep breath before placing his hand on Hawke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. After all that’s happened… I miss her too. I just don’t know if visiting Fenris will make things better.” 

“Maybe it won’t,” Aidan muttered, staring at the door hopelessly. “Fenris is my friend, Anders. Roni would throttle me if I didn’t.” 

The wanted mage behind him chuckled bitterly. “Does sound like her, honestly.” 

Shaking his head, Aidan exhaled and opted for placing his concern over modesty. “Time to bust in,” he muttered, using his hand to freeze the front door’s handle until it cracked. Aidan then took a step back and kicked as hard as he could, grateful that it swung open with little effort. “I still got it,” he mused, earning a snort from his husband. 

The two mages walked inside Fenris’ newest hiding place, taking note of the empty bottles of wine and broken chairs. It’d been almost a month since Varric had sent letters to everyone, so Aidan wasn’t surprised to find the mess of a mourning elf. Tables were up against the wall, chairs were toppled over, and broken glass was decorating part of the living room. 

“Fenris! Maker’s Breath, come down and speak to us!” 

There was no response from the bedroom upstairs. Knowing how stubborn the elf could be, Aidan huffed and ascended the stairs. Anders stayed at the base, watching his lover go up and knock on the door. 

“Please don’t make me bust down another damned door,” he spoke out, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. There was no way he could be asleep right now, right? Hawke turned the knob and opened the door, exhaling sharply when he saw Fenris laying in bed. 

“Damn it, Fenris,” Aidan grumbled, walking over to him as he placed his hand on Fenris’ shoulder. “Hey, wake up. We need to talk, didn’t you hear us before?” 

The elf budged none from Aidan’s persistent shaking, his breathing slow. Too slow. Aidan’s eyes quickly widened, hands glowing as he attempted to heal his friend. “No, no don’t you dare,” he muttered, worried that Fenris had tried to drink himself to the Maker’s doorstep. 

If he could heal him just enough then maybe-! _Maybe he could-!_

“Fenris, get up!” 

No! No, _no, no, no, no, no!_

“Fenris!” He shouted, grunting as he tried to pull the warrior from his slumber. His eyes stayed shut, his breath so slow. Not another! _Not again!_ “Anders!” He cried out, tears beginning to build. “Come quick, I need help!”

“What’s happening?!” Anders was by his side almost immediately, glancing over his husband’s shoulder.

Aidan shook as he broke into a cold sweat. “I-I don’t know, something’s wrong!” _Not him too, do not take Fenris from me too!_ “Maker… He’s not waking up!” 


End file.
